Saturday, August 25, 2012

Heart with Wings

One night I had a dream
I had a dream that I was born with wings
and when I spread my wings
my heart would sing
When I heard this song
For Heaven I longed
I was lighter than air
flying in the sky up there

Back on the ground
there was no sound
My heart would pound
but, there was no sound

As I was flying up there
I did not have care
I was lighter than air
When I spread my wings
my heart would sing
there was no more suffering

I knew it was not wrong
this is where I belonged!
When I was on the ground
there was no sound
it was only my grief
that I found

The burden in my heart
set me apart
I was alone
and my heart
would moan, and groan

As time went by
I would sit and cry
knowing I had wings
but I was trapped in my suffering

I was not like the others
I was not like the other mothers...

They had no wings
because they did not have this kind of suffering
Their arms were full and not bound
There was no need for them  to leave the ground
Their song was alive
Because their song on Earth thrived

Mine was incomplete
I only thrived when the ground did not touch my feet
I did not want to live down  low
where burdens only grow

Time went by and I learned to soar
I became empowered by Grief's roar
because I was set apart from the others
I was a different kind of mother

My empty arms became strong
seasoned lifted hands for Heaven longed
wings strengthened by the pain
keep pushing off from the ground again

strength 
faith
the Earth
quaked

When I woke up from this dream
I knew I could soar though I had no wings
Grief could no longer keep me still
I can talk about Heaven, so I will

I will soar every day
I will do so in my own way
As I am still on this Earth
knowing my death will be better than my birth

I choose to soar
I choose not to care anymore
that I am not like the others
I am not like the other mothers

So while I am still here
I will hold my children near
close to my heart
while we are apart

As the day draws near
the Lord collects my every tear
until we are reunited together
and we can soar and sing forever!

True love gives my heart wings
I feel like I can do anything
because I am not like the others
I am not like the other mothers

Death does not have the final say
So I will live in this way:
Knowing this is not the end of the story
looking forward in hope to eternal Glory.

This writing is dedicated to River Christian, Blaze Canyon, Miriam Beth, and August Finn, my babies in Heaven, who I long to hold.  And, to, Hannah Mae, Alyson Kate, Sonoma Skye, and Piper Holiday, my babies under my roof, who I can kiss and hug and tuck in at night....your love and bravery gives my heart wings and gets me through from here to Glory.  How do you live in eternal hope for Heaven?  Ask me, I'll tell you.

love,
Mom




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