Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Running

Tomorrow, I face the two week countdown of my son's 6 year death anniversary.  It's so surreal, thinking about the day he died, and how Blaze and River are so inter mixed together.  Even though they died 3 years apart, it's like it was yesterday for both.

In less than 6 months I will face River's 10 year anniversary.  Part of me wants to be done.  I'd say a good percentage.  Isn't it long enough to be apart?  But then, I am torn.

I just want to complain today.  I want to run away.  I want to run....away....I want to run.....run....to something.  I want to run....to someone....I want to hug and kiss my sons again.  I want to run to them and hug them and smell their sweet smells.  Believe it or not, I still have their smells, individually logged in my brain.

I want to run....so I will.  This is a new chapter of my life.  Running.  I am not running away anymore.   But I am running towards something.  My goal.  Heaven.

I miss Blaze more than my next breath. He was extraordinary.  I am so blessed to be his Mommy.


Blaze in my belly, wishing I could freeze time.
For Heaven's Sake,
Kristin

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