Sunday, October 14, 2012

Tattoos, I won't apologize ....

I have several tattoos in memory of my babies in Heaven.  For me personally, I will not ever feel ashamed, or apologize for them.  Not now, not ever.  It is a healthy way for me  to express  my grief, along with my writing.  Some people have been rather condemning of both, but I think that stems from fear.

I have Blaze and River's names tattooed on my forearms.  Their names are facing out, so that when I lift my hands to the Lord in worship, it symbolizes me giving them back to Him.  It's rather painful, but I find this very comforting when I worship.  It does bring many tears, but what is so wrong with that?

I have a sunflower on my back.  Did you know sunflowers turn their faces to the sun, and that is what I do too?.  Where ever He leads, the Son of  God's warmth leads me so...., I go.  Sometimes I have not been a willing passenger, but He did not give me a choice, I just had to be like a child, and obey. But, in the journey, I was glad I did.

I have a vine on my left ankle.  God says, "I am the vine, you are the branches....He is the vine...I cling to Him.  I pray I can bear the fruit He calls me to bear.  If I don't I will wither, I don't want to wither.

I have 4 birds flying out of a cage on my right ankle.  My four babies in Heaven, are the ones who are truly free, set free from the bondage and evil of this world.  My only hope is in Heaven, and that I will see them again one day soon.  My treasures are truly in Heaven!!!  It's all I have.  My hope, my joy, my saving grace, is when I meet Jesus  and maybe He will be the one to allow me to hold each precious baby again...what a dream come true!

I have a heart with wings  on my right forearm.  I prayed for Blaze night and day, for his heart to be healed on this Earth.  But God said, NO!  God healed the hole in my son's heart in Heaven, so as a symbol of God's answer, I have a heart with wings on the same arm with Blaze's name.  Blaze was taken up to the place with no more tears...Heaven.  I will meet my son there again one day.

Now, for River.  The left arm.  I have an anchor.  Because God was truly my anchor in that storm.  When God showed me a problem on Earth that could  not be fixed until Heaven.  And God, was my only anchor to keep me grounded.  All friends were stripped away! Without Him, I would have given up the ship.   I would have sunk!  But He kept me, He was my anchor that saved me from the damage the storm caused.  The Lord was, and  still is,  my anchor in the storm.

I am a walking storybook.  Either you love me as I am, or you don't.  Your choice.   Whatever you choose does not affect me at all.  God loves me.

I am loved eternally, by my Savior who has inscribed my name on the palm of His hands.

This is not up for debate.

Revelation 19
15 From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. 16 On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written,King of kings and Lord of lords.

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